|Our Vigilant Protectors: Greet the Motorized Patriot!|
|BioShock News by MegaScience|
|During this temporary raise in vandal activity, one such as yourself might find Columbia an unsettling place. However, this feeling is woefully unfounded, especially with our most glorious new protectors. With tourism at a minimum, Columbia Security has re-purposed our ever-loved tour guides - the stupendous Motorized Patriots - to be the ultimate defense against such vandals. Mounted with the brand new Pepper-Mill, our readers safety is utterly assured. A vandals actions can not deter them - they will follow until their mission is complete. So sleep well at night knowing your in good hands.|
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