Epstein the Swami

Epstein the Swami machine.

Swami Epstein machines are pessimistic, coin-operated fortune-telling vending machines found in Fort Frolic and the Gift Shop of Ryan Amusements. Unfortunately, the machine has absolutely no use in the game aside from something to waste a little time, and money on, and will generally tell the player negative fortunes.

Quotes

The following is a list of phrases the Swami may say. The name of the source audio file is listed when known.

(VO_MACH_Fort_BetOnYou)

• "Let me tell you this: I wouldn't bet on you."

(VO_MACH_Fort_BetterLuck)

• "So, better luck next time."

(VO_MACH_Fort_DoneSomething)

• "Eh. Perhaps in a past life you did something terrible to somebody."

(VO_MACH_Fort_FamilyName)

• "Well, I hope you have somebody to carry on your family name."

(VO_MACH_Fort_GettingOut)

• "So, you think you're getting out of here?"

(VO_MACH_Fort_GoWell)

• "Uh. It won't go well. It won't go well at all."

(VO_MACH_Fort_HmmNo)

• "Hmmm, no, I don't think so."

(VO_MACH_Fort_InYourShoes)

• "Believe me when I tell you I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

(VO_MACH_Fort_OverQuickly)

• "Darling, just close your eyes and hope it's over quickly."

(VO_MACH_Fort_Painless)

• "Look at the bright side: maybe it'll be quick and painless."

(VO_MACH_Fort_PlotPickedOut)

• "So, uh, you have a plot picked out yet?"

(VO_MACH_Fort_SomeoneElse)

• "Sweetheart, maybe you should ask somebody else for advice."

Video

BioShock Dialogue - Epstein the Swami

BioShock: Epstein The Swami Dialogue



Bugs/Glitches

•      In BioShock this fortune teller machine costs one dollar to operate, although oddly, two dollars are taken when it is used, and the machine will function even if the player has no money at all. In BioShock 2 the machine is less devious and only takes one dollar as it says it will.

Behind the Scenes

• Jean-Paul LeBreton, the Level Designer of Farmer's Market, had originally planned to add one of these machines to the level, but forgot to. To 'restore [his] karma,' he added one to Ryan Amusements' Gift Shop in BioShock 2.
• Epstein the Swami is based on an automation called Zoltar.